To My Mom

Here is the talk that I gave at my Mom's memorial service. I was honored to speak, but had such a hard time putting it all together. I must have tried to write it a dozen times. Finally 2 days before her service, it came to me and I was happy with how it all came together. Some of it was spontaneous (such as the end), but here is what I remember of it.

Thank you so much for being here today to celebrate our beloved Mom. I look around the church and am comforted to know just how very loved my Mom was. This journey we have been thru has been so very hard, but it has also been so amazing since we were able to witness so much love and joy. My Mom gave so much to everyone during this lifetime and it was beautiful to see it all given back during this past year. I learned you get what you give in life and the result for my Mom was an overwhelming outpouring of love and friendship. We are forever grateful. You all carried us thru.

I first want to thank my Dad for caring for my Mom. Caregiving for a loved one may be the toughest job and my Dad did it with grace, love, strength and patience. I thank you Dad for showing me and everyone else who witnessed your dedication what true, unconditional love is really all about. You never left her side, never missed an appointment, never complained and never gave up hope. When Mom could no longer communicate you took over her facebook account and even became her voice. I thank you Dad for everything and I am so proud to be your daughter.

My Mom was truly 1 in a million. A special soul full of so much life and love. She just radiated pure excitement. Her laugh and smile were contagious and she always made you feel loved, even if you just met her 5 minutes earlier. She loved life and lived each day to the fullest. This she made sure of by jam packing her day from the minute she woke up to the time she went to bed. One of the most common words to describe her was the energizer bunny. Many would ask me how she had so much energy, the true answer was she was simply born that way. Her Aunt describerd her as a child that was always running and no one could ever catch her. That energy and zest for life continued forever.

One of my favorite things about my Mom was that she was up for anything, anytime, anywhere. If you invited her she would be there. It didn’t matter how far she had to drive, she would drive hundreds of miles out of the way just to meet for dinner. A simple dinner with a friend was worth it all. If you needed her you could count on her 100%. This is one of the most important qualities that I have tried to instill in my own life. Just like my Mom, if you need me I will be there. My word means everything. It isn’t always easy to fulfill but she is my inspiration to continue living to this standard.

My Mom was truly my best friend. Not a day would go by that I didn't speak with her and she was always the first person I would go to in time of happiness, in time of need or in time of desperation. She was open with me and in return, I felt like I could confide in her. There were times when we would just start uncontrollably laughing and we didn’t even know what we were laughing about. I can only hope that my relationship with my own kids as adults can compare to ours. I miss her so much and at times I still think when my phone rings at 7am that it is her. I have a hard time accepting that she is gone, but in my saddest moments I am reminded that I wouldn’t change a thing since I was blessed with my mom, even if it was for just 34 years.

Becoming a mom myself has been my greatest blessing and given me the most happiness that I have ever experienced in life. I never knew that it would fulfill this need until I was blessed with my own children. I’m not one to read books on parenting since I think I was given two of the greatest teachers of all. My Mom taught me some of life's most important lessons in motherhood both as being a child and also as an adult.  

To love unconditionally. 

No matter what choices we make (good or bad), my Mom always loved us. I made a few mistakes (lets just call them my rebellious high school years) and my Mom never worried. She knew that she had built a strong foundation and that would always shine thru. I thank her for never judging me or making me feel anything less than perfect.

Be your children’s biggest cheerleaders

From swimming, ice skating, syncro, guide dogs, broadcast journalism and even baton twirling (yes I had a brief stint as a baton twirler in the 80’s) my Mom was always there to cheer us on. She supported all our activities and took an interest in everything.

Be present

Sometimes we get so busy in our lives and goals to accomplish in a day that we simply miss the most important component of being with our children. To just be present. When my Mom spent time with us as kids and adults, she was always present 100%. This was something I loved experiencing with my Mom with her grandchildren. She had so many competing priorities, but when she was with them she was ALL in.

Always put family first

My Mom grew up as an only child and her extended family all lived on the East Coast. She looked forward to every holiday, wedding, celebration and reason to get together since she just loved her family so very much. Her family also became her friends out here in California. Her favorite day of the week was Sunday since we would all get together for dinner. Even as kids this was important and she and my Dad would spend all day cooking a special meal for us to share as a family. Many of you have been guests for our Lietz Sunday night dinners and this is something I hope to carry on forever.

My Mom always was up for Fun. She loved planning parties and everyone was always invited. There was always room for one more. Nothing was ever too formal, but it was sure to be fun. My parents remodeled their house to allow a dining room table for 12 and it was always full. We have so many memories around that table. She loved the holidays and Christmas was her favorite. She would start shopping 6 months before and always wanted to make sure everyone’s Christmas wish was fulfilled. My parents were always so generous. I wasn’t surprised that my Mom passed the day before Christmas eve. We knew that all she wanted was for us to celebrate her favorite holiday, especially for the children. Even though we were grieving, we still found a reason to celebrate in her honor.

We were told in May that my Mom had weeks left to live. This came as a total shock to all of us since we walked into the doctor’s office thinking something totally different. As of that morning she was still on chemo and actively battling this disease. Now the question is what do we do? So we began to really live. Live like there was no certainty of tomorrow. My Mom’s life was filled with amazing moments, memories and special time. Her biggest wish was to have photos taken of her, our family and then a separate shot of each of her grandchildren. Something they could all cherish when she was gone.

She didn’t worry about the next day, she was just in the moment. Every one that had come to visit was in awe of her happiness and joy. She was their sunshine. She was a testament that even in the darkest of days, you can still live a life of gratitude. Facing death, you can still smile. You can still laugh. You can still enjoy each day. You can still be thankful for so many things. My Mom’s “Old Life” was stripped away, but her “New Life” was so FULL. It was full of visits from special friends, phone calls from those who are far and blessings in so many forms. 

Mom…you were amazing! I am certain you are always by my side, cheering me on and keeping me going. You have taught me so much. I am proud of the person I have become because of you. I knew the day that I met Jason that he was the person I was going to marry because you loved him too. You loved life so much and we promise to always live life to the fullest in your honor. May we always be thankful for each and every day as a gift. You are our inspiration to always be thankful for our life.

My Mom really wanted today to be a celebration and I know that she and her parents, friends and relatives are in heaven today having quite the party. Thank you everyone for making this day so special. Although she isn’t here physically, I am confident that she is smiling and so happy. I want to challenge you today. Within this next year, throw a party for any reason (New Years, Oktoberfest, A Birthday, An Anniversary, The Superbowl). Make a little too much food, have it run a little later than anticipated (don’t worry my Mom knows the Walnut Creek police) and invite someone that you may not know very well. You never know where that friendship will lead. And just have a party and think of her.

Thank you so very much! We love you.